TRUMP CAN’T SWIM!

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This is a basic lesson in intellectual dishonesty. Take note CNN, MSNBC, ABC, CBS, NBC, NPR, PBS, WaPo, HuffPo, NYT, Daily Kos, etc… You could increase your viewership immediately by reporting real facts instead of creating false narratives.

But you don’t, you twist everything the President or any Conservative says or does. You spin it to fit a fake news narrative, no matter what it’s about. Now imagine that there is a “news” network, let’s call it FNN, the Fake News Network (for you snowflakes, it’s a fictitious network, doesn’t exist, so no reason to go on Twitter and FB and protest and demand a boycott). And let’s also imagine that one of their lead reporters is a transgender Black, Native American, Asian, Latino named Jimmy Azclown, and he/she writes the following story;

The Fake News Network. Why report facts when we can manufacture news?

Jimmy Azclown reporting for FNN from the Delaware River.

As I was following Trump, while doing my very important job this morning, I saw Trump walking along the riverbank today with his family dutifully following him like a bunch of North Koreans behind the Greatest Dear Leader ever Kim Jong Un. As Trump was looking across the river, there was a commotion in the middle of the river and Trump looked and saw a small girl drowning. She was almost on her last gasp of air, she was going down for the last time it seemed, and Trump did not even attempt to swim out to save the child, and he refused to call for anyone else to help her.

He was very nonchalant, not caring a tinker’s cuss about anything except his white supremacist Nazi buddies and what they were doing. I know this because, having been on the WH beat for so long, you just “know” what they are thinking, especially when it’s with a mental midget like Trump. He surely wasn’t thinking about SWIMMING out to save this little girl. He’d rather let her drown than to get his little white Nazi hands wet or have his $39 toupee to fall off.

And as usual Trump had no apologies or excuses for his boorish behavior. He is Trump. I attempted to ask him if he knew how to swim, and he rebuffed me. I then asked him if had ever tried to swim, and he ignored me. ME, Jimmy Azclown!!! I then yelled again at him demanding to know why he didn’t take swimming lessons when he was a child? And Trump had the audacity and lack of civility and manners to tell me “enough”. He then turned his back on me, Jimmy Azclown, a member in good standing with the mainstream media of America, the decider of all things Socialist and anti-Trump. He then had my press pass for the White House briefings pulled.

So America, once again Trump has been insolent and rude to America’s Chosen One, me, Jimmy Azclown, while I was merely attempting to do my job. I guess I’m headed back to Federal Court to force Trump to tell me… I mean to tell America why he didn’t swim out to save that little girl.

Oh, and the little girl? Yes, yes… When Trump saw the girl drowning, he immediately headed towards the girl by walking on the water all the way to the middle of the river, then plucked the little girl out of the water and carried her back to shore to the safety of her family, even though Trump can’t swim a lick. The little girl could have drowned, no thanks to Trump and Conservatives. Shouldn’t all those right wing white supremacist Nazis like Trump and his followers know how to swim?

So America, are you happy with Trump? A “President” that CAN’T SWIM??? I think not. This is Jimmy Azclown manufacturing fake news for FNN and signing off by saying damn I hate you Trump. I hate you. I hate you.

PS: My boyfriend hates you too!!!

Now, there are networks in America that would absolutely carry this story pretty much the same way as written above. Is this what we want to pass for journalism? If not, then why do we accept it? We need to demand news be news and opinion be opinion.

NO MORE FAKE NEWS!!!

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